Perpetual Wound
by Rainbow Moonshine
Summary: I was waiting for that moment. A moment, where everything is alright, and nothing else matters. And by kissing you, I got that.” She sat back down, and put her hand on top of his. The corners of his lips turned up, and she slid a sly smile across her face


**A/N: I bring you another Rory and Jess one-shot. I tried really hard on this, and I really like it. I'm in a totally Literati mood, so I decided to do this. Review and I hope you enjoy it!**

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

She stared into the mirror, looking at her disheveled appearance. She wasn't herself. Her eyes drooped, dark circles forming under them. Her skin pale, like a blank sheet of paper. She was thin, from not eating as much. She held no energy, no life.

She remembers the last time she felt good. When she felt happy. And it wasn't because of her mom. And it wasn't because of a book. It was because of _him_. Jess.

"_I love this. Right here, it's perfect." She expressed, as she leaned her head against his bare chest._

"_Yeah. I wouldn't trade it for anything." He smiled, actually smiling. She loved that he could be a complete romantic. He had set everything up. He had started the evening with cooking one of her favorite meals- A hamburger with fries and coffee. Then, they watched movies with a massive amount of junk food. Then, they had taken a walk, a walk to their bridge._

"_So, what happens next?" She asked, as she turned her head to face him. He turned his head, too, and a piece of hair fell in front of his eyes. She carefully brushed it back behind his ear._

"_We can do whatever you want."_

"_I want to stay here. I want to be happy like this forever. I want to make love to you." She came to the realization when she looked into his brown eyes, and saw so much love and passion._

"_Right now?" He asked skeptical. Jess sat up, and she did the same._

"_Yeah. Right now. On this bridge." She stated bluntly, ready to give herself to him. He smiled, and cupped her face with his hands. He leaned in and kissed her with everything he had. That night, they had fallen in love all over again. That night, they made love._

Boy, did she wish she was still that happy. "This is nor me. I'm not supposed to cry over you. I'm not supposed to wallow in silence." She slapped her hand on the bathroom counter. Then, she walked away, not able to look at herself anymore.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe. _

She picked up the phone, but was unable to press the numbers. She wasn't ready to hear his voice. Not wanting to go through anymore pain. She dropped the phone on the table, and sat on her purple couch. She couldn't think of anything to do. Her mind became a void. Unable to think straight, unable to comprehend correctly.

She picked up the remote, and turned on the television. The news was on, giving her the information on the outside world that she wasn't paying attention to. She didn't really watch the T.V, but kept it on to keep her mind off of him.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and she jumped at the sound. It sounded to unfamiliar since nobody came to visit anymore. She didn't want company, especially if they weren't Jess. She turned the television off and went to open the door. She unlocked it, and gasped.

"Rory." A tall, olive skinned man stood there. He had midnight black hair, and shiny white teeth. He was muscular, and average height. He was holding a brown bad in his right hand, and his left hand was bandaged up.

"Jess." She tried to keep the tears from falling. Seeing him, made her think of the last time they had spoken.

"_I can't do this anymore!" He yelled, slamming his fist on the table._

"_Then, leave! I don't need you!" She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. He __nodded, and headed towards the bedroom. He pulled a duffel bag from the closet, and threw clothes, books, hair gel, and other possessions of his into the bag. He walked out of the bedroom, and right into the front door. He was about to open it until he heard a quiet voice whisper his name._

_He turned around, and saw Rory sitting on the couch, curled up in the fetal position."Please. Don't go. I didn't mean it. Just, please, Jess, don't go." Tear streamed down her face, as if it was a river. He walked over to as she spoke._

"_This, you and me. It isn't right. You deserve better than me." He kissed the stop of her head, and left the apartment. She was left with silence and a broken heart. _

"Can I come in?" He askes, thinking that she would probably say no. But, then again, why would he have taken a bus from Philadelphia just to hear a no?

"Sure, I guess." She opened the door more, and walked away from it. She headed for the couch, and sat down on the middle cushion. He followed her, and took a seat on th chair across from hers. She looked down, not wanting him to see the desperation in her eyes. But, he kept staring at her, thinking she was just the greatest thing.

"What's in the bag?" She asked, remembering that he had brought a bag.

"Oh, uh, I brought some tequila. I know you don't drink much, but I didn't want to get wine, and this was just kind of yelling out to me." He handed her the bag, and she took the tequila out. She stred at it a few seconds, unscrewed it, then took a huge swig of it.

"Wow." She flinched at the taste, but it made her feel better inside.

"Yeah, wow." He just stared at her, unable to comprehend that she actually just drank it. He thought that she would only have one shot, and he would have to down the rest.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

"What happened to your hand?"

"I kind of...sort of...got into a fight. In a bar." She only nodded her head, as though it was a regular thing. They sat there in silence, waiting for the other to make a move. She was waiting for the alcohol to make it's way into her mouth, but didn't want to randomly do that. Especially in front of him.

"I've never." She stated, wanting to play the old drinking game.

"Uh..okay." This wasn't the same Rory Gilmore he remembered. HE didn't recognize her hopeless eyes, and worn out features.

"I've never liked Hemingway." Started out easy, hoping to get him drinking too, so that the attention wasn't all on her. He grabbed the bottle, and took a quick sip. He didn't like drinking that much when he was around her, unable to think of what he would do to her if he were to be intoxicated.

"Cheap shot." She smiled lightly. "I've never, felt proud of myself." She stared at the bottle, wondering what she should do. She grabbed it, and took a quick gulp, and waited for the bitter taste to swivel down her throat.

"High School graduation. I've never played pinball." He smirked and took the bottle. He took another small sip, and set it down on the ground.

"I was eight. My mom gave me money to go entertain myself. I went to the arcade down the street." She stifled a slight laugh at his memory. "I've never left someone for someone else."

"Don't lie." She shook her head at his bad memory.

"Huh?" He leaned over, as if trying to hear better. Truth is, he only remembers being with Rory.

"Shane."

"Who?"

"The girl you using to make me jealous. You had to break up with her to be with me."

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

"Right." He looked into her crystal eyes for moments. He liked basking in her loving, always forgiving eyes. "Well, I used mine, so it's your turn.

"Let's do this in the kitchen." Their- her living room wasn't the right place to speak to each other again, let alone reveal some past secrets. They both stood up, and waled into the small, but quaint kitchen (Which was only used by Jess, unless Rory was making coffee)

They sat down at the kitchen table, and stared at the bottle of tequila that stood before them. Rory decided to break the silence by adding, "I've never masturbated." Jess raised his eyebrows, stood up and grabbed two shot glasses.

He poured the alcohol into one of the glasses, and chugged it quickly. "I was maybe thirteen. The school was trying to teach us about sex, and I was curious." He shrugged, and didn't look at her until he heard a short, but hearty laugh. He smiled, knowing that she was happy -for once.

"I've never had a banana split." She poured more tequila into her glass, and they continued.

"I've never been pushed down a flight of stairs." She said triumphantly, knowing that no one hated her that much.(except maybe the angry ballerina who still hates her)She was also sure that Jess, even being an asshole, has never had that kind of enemy. But, it seems she was wrong. He poured his glass to the top, and chugged the drink as slowly as possible.

"Tell me about it." She asked with curiosity.

"I was about sixteen maybe. A few months before I moved to Stars Hollow. And I was dating this one girl. Except we really weren't dating, just like, fooling around. She had a boyfriend, big scary guy. Taller than Dean, and meaner too. So, the guy found out, I don't know how, but he did. So, when I was walking to the apartment, he grabbed me. I tried to get away from him, knowing that he could easily break my head with his bare hands. But, then I got to the point where I completely pissed him off, and pushed me."

When they kept going, the 'never' situations became more and more silly, allowing them to enjoy the others presence, and forget about past worries. When the bottle became empty, they had nothing to say.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, worried of her reaction. He looked up, and saw her distraught face staring back at him.

"For what?" She asked, leaning in, hoping that maybe they could give their time together more meaning.

"Everything." He leaned in, also. Their lips barely touched, before Rory pulled back. She stood up and started pacing. She muttered obscure words to herself, and shook her head.

"You can NOT just do this! Not again! You're crazy if you think that we can be together after everything that has happened!" She yelled, more at herself than him.

"Rory, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." His eyes revealed more hurt than anything else. He didn't understand her most of the time, but at this moment he was completely confused. She had leaned in also, and she had kissed him back.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

Rory breathed deeply, and looked at him. Remorse was almost filling his eyes. He hadn't wanted to upset her, or make her blame herself. He was going to object, but she beat him to it, "Don't do that." She said to him, as if reading his mind.

"Do what?"

"Pretend that your sorry, and say that it's all your fault. I was waiting for that moment. A moment, where everything is alright, and nothing else matters. And by kissing you, I got that." She sat back down, and put her hand on top of his. The corners of his lips turned up, and she slid a sly smile across her face.

"But, it shouldn't have happened. We're broken up. I left. You were probably much happier when I wasn't around." Jess stood up, his uncut black hair, falling in front of his face. He left it there, unable to think, or feel. Rory stood up, and faced him. She grabbed one of his hands, and using her other hand, she pushed his hair out of his face.

He tried to smile at her touch, but couldn't help himself. She smiled up at him with glistening eyes.

"What?" Concerned laced his voice. She tried to stifle a laugh, but couldn't. She burst into a fit of giggles, which he soon followed.

"Why are we laughing?" He asked, trying to stop. Her laugh had an effect on him, and he felt as if whatever she said next, it wouldn't matter, because she could still make him laugh.

"You were just so...so....wrong." He stopped laughing, unsure of what she meant. He tilted his head to the side, and she answered his unspoken question.

"You said we were done. You said that I was probably happier when you weren't here. That is a complete lie. I was doing horrible. I've barely left this apartment. I only did when I ran out of food and toilet paper." She chucked at herself, and what Jess had thought. "I loved it so much more when you were around." She looked at Jess, and saw him staring at his shoes.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

He shook his head at the way she described it. He had done almost the exact same thing, except for the fact that it was a nearby hotel room, and he had swallowed his sorrows with Jack Daniels. "Why is it so hard for us to be far apart? I mean, when we were teenagers, I came back after a few weeks of being in New York. And after I left for California, I had to come back, and see you. And then, again when coming to see you at your Grandparents. And you, when coming to Philly, to tell me everything was alright. Why can't we just end things, I mean you deserve so much better than me. Ask anyone." He looked up at her, and saw that her jaw was dropped.

"What?"

"That has to be the most amount of words I have ever heard from you." She giggled at him, and he tried, again tried, not to join in. It was just too damn hard. "And to answer your question, I think it's just because we love each other. I hate to go all cliché on you, and I really do hate it, but you complete me." She drew a heart in the air with her fingers, and he laughed at her crazy childish reference.

He stepped closer to her, and took her hands. "I hate to be a cliché couple, but you're my world." He said, slightly disgusted by how he was sharing his feeling so easily, and in a way that we would gag upon in the future. But for now, he smiled, and kissed her again, but this time with more passion than before. She gave into the kiss right away, and this time she accepted it for what it was. He pushed her against the dining table, and they fell on top of it, knocking off the shot glasses and tequila bottle.

He pulled back to look at her and ask her something before they jumped into something bad. "So, what does this make us?" She raised an eyebrow, and pushed the hair away from his face.

"I guess we're back together. Is that okay?" She asked, mockingly.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay with that." He smiled, and kissed her again, his hand creating small circles on her stomach. She smiled at his touch.

_Inhale._

_Exhale._

_Breathe._

A/N: So, I really hoped that you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas, and happy Hanukkah. And, if you're like me, then have a joyous Christmakkah! Reviews are very nicely wrapped presents, and you will get thank-you cards. (although I do despise them) I will send you a present also, by maybe,just maybe, writing another one-shot. Or starting a story that I've thought about for months. So, please, review!


End file.
